Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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