I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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