never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
