Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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