Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
