and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
