is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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