i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
