i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize