So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I forget how to act sober
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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