it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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