i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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