And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
