You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We had sex on a dog bed..
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
