were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
