I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Let's get the cat blown out
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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