just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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