hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
