We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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