I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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