I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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