lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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