sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
