Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
