I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
