2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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