somebody snuck up and got me drunk
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
