They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
