I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I wear drunk well.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
