Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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