I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
