Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
