Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
