the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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