So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
