So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
