a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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