Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
