he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
