i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
