Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
