Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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