Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
