I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
