I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
