I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize