I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
