We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
