why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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