I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
