Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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