Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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