Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
