Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
