Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize