I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
