Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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