He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
